|
 |
|
Sunday, March 13, 2005
currently watching: SOP
currently feeling:tired...
-----------------------------------------------------
Life is really ironic. One minute you'll feel full bliss like you've juz floated into the clouds then the next you'll feel like crashing and burning inside.
i had some good news within the earlier part of the week, i was happy and even felt that what i've been through was juz all part of the Love game everyone of has are going through. i was all ready to face the new challenges my somewhat already battered heart was about to endure in the future. but hell i care...i was happy...i really was....
then, there's the painful truth of reality.
don't get me wrong ok? its actually not connected.
the deal is with my mom. she's really getting weaker everyday that sometimes she can't stand up alone. i can't do anything but be there to supprort her all the way.
i actually had the most humbling experience with her. i helped her take a bath. it was actually the first time i've bathe someone who's old. it was a different experience for me. i cannot explain how i felt... it felt really odd.
the good thing was that she seemed to be doing good now. i juz hope that it will continue and that she would get better.
Posted at 12:21 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
fashion and the ukay queen
currently watching: MYX
currently feeling: my teeth are aching! waahhh!
-------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve always said that I’m really proud of my individuality, especially when it comes to my fashion sense. I’m already quite immune to the stares and hush-hush comments I always get whenever I’m in my “fashionista” state. However, today, I was again wondering how come “different” fashion is still a big deal here in the Philippines.
I know I’m gonna earn a lot of stares and different looks today when I decided to wear my multi-purpose fuchsia sash (if u wanna know how it looks refer to my pic in the header..hehehe..) as a bandanna, while I ponytailed my long hair. I also wore an aquamarine colored shirt, a Capri jeans with a wide belt that has some engravings on it. I was also wearing this somewhat big earrings that looks really nice on me when I have my hair ponytailed. I know, I’m quite attention grabbing because of my colorful attire..hehehe… and as early as I’ve stepped out of the house I already earned a lot of stares and looks. They are actually quite entertaining for me, some were admiration, concern and even wonder. There was this cute kid that even waved at me even though he doesn’t know me..hahaha…The teller at the fx station even told me “Kamukha mo si Sandara Park” (You look like Sandara Park) and I only smiled at him but I wanted to say that we are both born on the same date… hahaha….atribida? hehehehe….
As the day went on, I lost track of the number of attention I was getting. I’m really clueless why do these people look quite shocked seeing me… I mean hello? What’s up with the looks? I’m just an ordinary girl who loves to dress up…
I went to this ukay-ukay which just opened up. And guess what? I saw this gorgeous PURPLE shoes! I almost ran towards it! Hahahaha….and of course I bought it! It was in a very good state like it was only worn 1 time! Ahhhhh.. I love my new shoes….
I went to my dentist today and even she was giving me this look… (ahhh! Wont this stop? Hehehe) She even said that I was her “idol”..hahaha.. she’s soo cute when she said it…
I’ve always been asked where I was getting the inspiration for my clothing…and my only advice is that “Confidence! Wear whatever you feel like wearing, feel beautiful and you’ll look beautiful”.
Posted at 01:30 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Friday, March 04, 2005
currently watching: Oprah
currently feeling: exhausted yet relieved!
-------------------------------------------------------
wohoooo!!!! tapos na thesis defense koh!!!
shiyet!  sarap sa bangs! hehehehe....
Posted at 08:45 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Monday, February 28, 2005
currently watching: Fear Factor
currently feeling: tired as hell!
-----------------------------------------------
i recieved a letter yesterday and it was from someone i dont personally know.I am currently under a lot of stress and emotional pain right now and the letter of this person has somehow given me a new rush of hope and fresh look at inspiration. I've always been vocal in saying that am quite cynical about life and yet this person has made me take a look at life's beauty. the letter has given me new courage to face the new day. thank you very much for the concern...thank you very much for praying for my mother...and thank you for being the beautiful soul that you are...i think you know who you are...
Posted at 07:30 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Saturday, February 26, 2005
currently watching: The Wedding Singer
currently feeling:sleepy...
---------------------------------------------------
so am back...finally.... i actually missed going onlyn...
a lot has been goin' on with me actually. finally, i've finished my thesis, but dont get me wrong coz i only finished the PAPER and i still has to undergo the excruciating thesis defense.. argh!! only thinking about it makes me wanna pass out right here and now....
the pressure is really on...
i juz finished taking my final test on Taxation earlier this day and thank god its already over! no more prospectivity! no more imprescriptibility! no more "why are you smiling at me Ms. Javier?" hahahaha...
i also got a new phone...its actually an early graduation gift from my parents..hahaha.. i juz wish that i'd really graduate!
recently, we juz learned that the storm within our family still hasnt subsided. my mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer mid year last 2004 and she has to undergo chemotheraphy and cobalt sessions then. it was actually the darkest times in my life when i would come home to an empty house and eat alone. But then, mom was recovering by December and we thought she's gonna be alright. however, the doctor said that there's a new cyst and now she's in the hospital again having those treatments. i've never been the most vocal person in the world coz i usually keep mum about my feelings but last nyt i juz break down.maybe it was the exhaustion of only having at least 5 hours of sleep every night because of the thesis and seeing your mom getting so thin and weak that i juz let go of all of those bent up feelings. i felt that am not only tired physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
i juz hope everything turns out to be fine...
i'd deeply appreciate ur prayers guys...
Posted at 08:09 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Thursday, February 17, 2005
currently watching: replays of America's Next Top Model
currently feeling: ummm...wutever?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
its been 5 days, 20 hours and 47 mins since HE walked out of my life. its not how i intended it to happen but i guess fate has its own plans. i still dunno what exact happened or what exactly went wrong but i'll juz say i understand...dats how he wanted it, for me to understand...
Smile by Tamia
Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be
If he had loved me
Truly loved me yes
I learned a while ago that kind of thing
Never happens for me
And so I go around
And just pretend
Loving life for me
I play the circus clown around my friends
Make them laugh and they won't see
That you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me
So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face
Sing it la la la la
Sometimes I sit at home
By the phone hoping he might call me
But he don't call me
But then I realize
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me
Not like me
And so I go around with my head up
Like it ain't no thing
And when the boys around with all my friends
I’m into other things
Because you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me
So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face
It’s not an easy (thing)
Sometimes it’s hard to (face the truth)
It’s not the life that I would choose (that I would choose)
But what else can I do?
If he don’t love me
If he don’t want me
I’m not about to sit around
Let myself go
So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face
Sing it la la la la
Posted at 06:55 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
d hell with valentines day
currently watching: Everwood
currently feeling: angry, sad, crazy and all that crap!
---------------------------------------------------------------
good thing valentine's day is already over...i've honestly never been a huge fan of the said occasion. why? well for starters, i never really understood why we have to celebrate a "fake" holiday. i mean, why do we have to pick a specific day to celebrate what we should have been celebrating everyday. And what is this? its the crazy little thing called LOVE of course...all i've been meaning is that if we really love somebody, we dont need to have this so called valentines day, everyday can be a valentines day ryt? sometimes, i do feel that all those mushy crap by lovers all over the world during valentines day is just a sad excuse. its soo convential...dating, giving gifts...ugh! i wanna throw up! these things can be done everyday! the thing is that we're making a big deal out of this hearts day crap...well, personally..i find it waaaaayyyy sweeter if the guy would give me gifts or even just a simple flower on a simple day...without any occasion involve... i would appreciate the effort more.
ok..i know am such a shrew..but for a girl who havent received even a single flower from a guy all her life (yeah i know its a pathetic case!)..i guess you'll feel really crappy during this time of the year...all those lovey-dovey acts...ugh! juz makes me gag! LOL..
and yeah...i had yet another gloomy valentine's day, probably the worst. so dont wonder if i'll hate the day all the more ok?. why? well... de eso no se habla!
un nah un ok!
ui... oo nga pla..tpos na ang thesis ko!!! wooooohhhhh!
*thine dances around*
hehehe....
so, i get to take some rest for a week, until the draft returns to me for some revisions...i juz wish that all of this would be over soon so that i can get back to writing again.. i sooo missed writing prose and of course my readers too... i actually have a nice plot brewing by my crazy head..hehehe...
Posted at 06:00 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
currently watching: the good life
currently feeling: restless
----------------------------------------------
insomia's kicking in again and i can't sleep  . waaahhh! look how pathetic looking i am now! ahahaha... but i guess, insomia still has its advantages coz i was able to write another poem  .. i dunno but am into angsty-morbidy(does the word even exist?hehehe) type of literature nowadays..hmmm..
60 feet under
Contained by the hours of darkness
shared by empty bottles of beer
drunkeness lingers within the
smoke induced room.
silence reigns
behind the dark curtains of the house
i could barely call my home
knocking would be a prerogative
when entering would be given much of an importance
you would call
you can scream
i'd whisper beneath the
hollow interruption of panic
1, 2, 3
a silent chant while the tainted
hands began to dry
by the surprisingly humid air
still, very still
i'd cease to move
might as well have death crawl in
no one would see, no one would care.
breathing is not an option
its a privilege for the weak
slowly,let the air pass you by
then,
stop short
finally,look for lightness
its just hidden there somewhere.
 ang panget noh??? hahahah 
Posted at 10:17 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
currently watching: joyride
currently feeling: still tired, tired, tired did i say i'm tired?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
ok... so what if am only a part chinese? i still am ryt? hehehe..happy chinese new year everyone!
Posted at 02:33 pm by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
Monday, February 07, 2005
currently watching: Ginger
currently feeling: sooooo freaking tired!
--------------------------------------------------------
in the midst of my super hectic schedule, yeah...i wrote this one down...i really don't know how am i gonna finish my freaking thesis but i'm hoping and praying that i will...am soooo tired already! last friday was the hardest, i even cried because of frustration and exhaustion. yeah, i know am such a crybaby! hehehehe...but HE was the best, i texted him and he was very supportive of me. he even promised me a hug! hehehe..and it almost made my day..i said ALMOST ok? am not that crazy!
so anyway, here's the poem...read away!
Kaleidoscope
The silence of the night
Haunts unguided spirits
Unmoving bodies within silent pain
Draws life’s prophecies.
Teardrops will fall
As spasms of the heart reigns
Greet sorrow with a bitter smile
it will all be better
Someday…
Somehow…
Catch a glimpse of flashes of lights
as ten thousand linear pieces
collides within
the solidity of truths.
Crystallize visions are matched with
Jumbled personal velocity
Take a peek
History is drawn explicitly
Faces, letters and soul sewed together
By the puzzle of colors
Take another peek
Acquire the vision
Savor the ambiance
Grab tightly by its handle.
I’d tell you, there’s more that what meets the eye.
care to give some comments? tnxie..
Posted at 08:45 am by purple_bitch_princess_thine
thine_link
|
|
|
