when i was young, i have always gotten what i wanted. being the only girl in the family has its advantages as well coz you get to be treated as the princess most of the time. however as we start to get older,we learn the hard facts of life. we cannot always get what we wanted.
this year has been real tough for me. the year that has started to run smoothly with hope and good fortune has slowly come to deteriorate. i've never imagined that at my age of 20 i'd be able to experience what i've through this year. i may sound bitter, coz maybe i really am but i have the right to say that i've already lost so much.
early this year, i've lost avery special person to cancer.i've often talked about the death of my mom to inspire and to maybe somewhat ease the pain that im still experiencing due to her lost. and now, i'm beginning to lose another special person to me. its actually only now that am beginning to realize that its really hard to love completely and end it just like that.
when my mom passed away, my world just got crushed. i love her so much. i dont know where to start in the new world without her. Then, i began to see things clearly once again. i began to pick up the pieces of my life and began to entrust my heart once again. it was so easy to face the daily challenges of life with a new inspiration by your side.
however, when happiness is within reach, always expect loneliness to come. They say that you have never truly loved if you have never sacrificed. i agree and i did. i've had my fair share of sacrifices in this life. i've cried, did everything in my power to fight but maybe this is just the way its supposed to be. so what im saying is that i'm finally giving up. the battle was long, i've had my ups and down. i'm not a quitter, i've never been and never will be but i cannot continue fighting for someone who's not willing to fight for me as well.
i'm not putting blame to anyone else but to myself because it has actually took me this long to finally realize what's happening. but i guess that's life...we havent truly lived if we never experienced loving, getting hurt and standing up again.
i believe that no matter how hard we try, we are only humans. there would always be a limit for us. and maybe...the time has come for me to finally say goodbye.