My dearest mama,

Hi, how are you now? I’ve written you a dozen letters that  yet I know that this one would be the hardest to compose. All of my letters ended in bucketful of tears and ironically I haven’t shed any now.

its been a week since you’ve been gone and I still cannot hide the fact that I’ve been missing you. Our new life without you is hard, Ma, how did you manage everything? All of the responsibilities are usually within ur arms and you never complained. You truly are amazing.

I’ve never been really close to you ma, and now I really regret all the hurtful things I’ve caused you. We’ve always been different, our beliefs and way of thinking always clash and we rarely understood each other. But beneath our diversities, the love and respect for each other is still there. and now I asked myself, how can I live with you? It hurts thinking that I would never have a single argument with you again.

I cannot hide the fact that I was really hurt. I really am Ma. You didn’t even say goodbye to me, you didn’t wait for me to come home. I was really excited to come home then as a new graduate and beamingly tell you everything that happened but you were already gone. Why did you not wait for me?

But you’ve been hurting too, weren’t you? I know you are. We’ve hidden the truth from you and yet you still believed. I’ve seen you grow weak, took care of you that sometimes I thought of giving you up just then. I know you’ve endured enough.

So I guess this is actually my goodbye.

Since we actually never had time for any.

May you rest in peace mama, I know you’re in a better place now.

And just like what I’ve said in my appreciation speech,

ANG KAMATAYAN AY HINDI ISANG KATAPUSAN KUNDI ISANG PANIBAGONG SIMULA. Life must go on, at habang patuloy na umiikot ang gulong ng buhay, patuloy naming aalalahanin si mama, hindi ang sakit ng kanyang paglisan kundi ang masasayang alaalang kanyang iniwan.

Goodbye mama, I know we’ll see each other again.

i love you.

You’ll forever be in our memories.